Twenty years ago I met my late husband in college. We met the old fashioned way, married, had a small army of children and lived happily ever after. Well, all but the last. I buried him after a valiant and brave fight with cancer. So here I stand, as single as a snowflake. A friend …
Author Archives: Melissa
SHADOWS 💙
~REPOST~ You. I’m talking to you. The one sitting in the shadows. I can’t quite make out your face, but I can see an open book and a faint light illuminating the words printed on the tissue-paper thin pages. You’re studying something, and I think I know what it is. The pages are turning, your …
MOSAIC
Acceptance is a well-known stage in the process of grief. We accept that our loved one is gone, never again to be seen this side of heaven. It takes awhile to get there, with so many factors factoring into it. After a time, we yield to our loved one’s death. What I’ve noticed is that …
DISTORTIONS
I’m not sure which way I prefer. Having it ripped off or slowly pulled away. In either case it hurts. And if you remove it too early, and healing isn’t complete, you’re left with a wound that is open, exposed, and weak. I never realized what he was until he wasn’t anymore. He fixed what …
FORGIVENESS
It plays over and over in my mind. A never ending merry-go-round. Only it’s less merry and more teary. I’ve spoken about forgiving ourselves after a death. Of things we may not have had the chance to do during life. What about the times we ourselves have been hurt? While we dwell on all the …
LEGACY 💙
Sometimes we have to sit back and take stock of who we are, where we are going in this life, and what the ultimate plan is for when this life ends. I’ve begun reading this book. It sounds odd, and the name is strange, but the topic is one we all should engage. We talk …
MISTAKES AND SHAPES
I remember in my high school science class, the teacher saying this: matter is neither created nor destroyed. It merely changes shape or form, becoming something more desirable to the scientist. I wish I could say that I made zero mistakes during the five years my husband fought cancer and following his death. I can’t. …
IT’S RISKY
Should I take that risk? The thought swirls around in my head like the alligator and dead fly smoothie I make my kids drink when they’re high on sugar and low on veggies. Around and around it goes until the greens are sufficiently masked by berries and bananas. So it goes in my head. I …
LEARNING TO LIVE AS LAST 💙
Loneliness. The strings of my heart pull me toward…no one. I loved being his wife. I loved the commitment of marriage that allowed a safe space for me to be me. To explore who I was and who I wanted to be without fear of being left behind. I loved that I was his first …
SOUL FIRST. BODY SECOND.
I live in a place that prides itself on achieving the “perfect” body. Stepford Wives abound and the Hollywood life is right next door. It’s so easy to become enmeshed in the quest for physical perfection and body worship to find some – any – meaning in a life lost. Take proper care of your …