Acceptance is a well-known stage in the process of grief. We accept that our loved one is gone, never again to be seen this side of heaven. It takes awhile to get there, with so many factors factoring into it.
After a time, we yield to our loved one’s death.
What I’ve noticed is that we accept death but we reject most everything else that is unpleasant. As if it has no place in our life.
We reject the disappointments we encounter, telling ourselves that we should fight harder, longer, better. We deserve more. We idealize a utopian vision where money flows as freely as the tears we shed for our lost love. We believe that if we work just that much harder, we’ll achieve a place in life where difficulty is long lost in the rear view mirror.
We push, pull, yank, and scratch our way to the top of the heap. A heap that promises sun without the burn, blue skies without the clouds.
But I’ve found that the race of avoidance is a race of futility.
We will always encounter difficulty. And not just of the final variety. We’ll lose our job, our friends may fall away, a child becomes sick. We’ll find ourselves behind on rent, a car in the shop, or a pink slip handed to us without notice.
We try so hard to find the good life.
The trouble is the good life is the life that includes the sick child, the financial hardship, and the lost hug from a dear friend who moved away.
This is the good life simply because it is life. The troubles we face are delicately woven into the life that we call life.
Life begins when our quest for perfection ends. Difficult times make us who we are – more compassionate towards the mother with the hospitalized child. Towards the man who walks our streets without a home. And our elderly neighbor who struggles with a searing loneliness.
In the midst of hardship, our heart grows compassionate, resilient. And those speckled spots that soil our life become a beautiful mosaic at thirty thousand feet.
Accepting difficulty is much like accepting death. Our expectations of life shattered into a million pieces.
But when we breathe, step back a bit, we notice that all those broken pieces have produced a beauty unrivaled and a heart cleansed with compassion.
And a delicate mosaic built within a thunderstorm of peace. đź’™