Nothing. Nothing can be a great thing. In a world where even the hardest working widows and widowers struggle to make ends meet and stay above ground, we feel pressured to do more. To be more. Get a better looking body, eat that extra leaf of kale, shove down another self-help book, or frantically check …
Author Archives: Melissa
MINE 💙
Who says time machines don’t exist? Say that to a widowed person, and they’ll beg to differ. One thing I never knew about widowhood: triggers. I knew certain dates, like anniversaries and holidays would hurt. But things like skimming past writings and journal entries I’ve scribbled when he was alive, visiting a restaurant we used …
LETHARGY AND HOPE
While grief produces so many strong emotions, lethargy is the odd one out. If something so quiet can be so loud, this would be it. We rage. We cry. We scream and pound our fists on the steering wheel of our car in an empty parking lot. And some days we can’t bring ourselves to …
GRATITUDE
If I had a single word to describe the last 7 years, it would be gratitude. The glaring question is this – how can anyone have anything remotely reminiscent of gratitude after five years of cancer only to be left widowed with five young children? How can anyone be grateful floating in the freezing cold …
THE SUN ALWAYS RISES
Photo cred: my beautiful daughter 😊 I just finished reading a book written by Christopher Zoukis, an inmate and author of “Federal Prison Handbook: A Definitive Guide to Surviving the Federal Bureau of Prisons.” Strange book for the average civilian, but for a curious lawyer, it’s par for the course. It was a fascinating read …
OPEN HAND
Slugging down Diet Coke like it’s going out of style. Eating my kids’ cereal straight out of the box. Yeah. It was that kind of a day. Things like knowing our club that no one ever wanted to be a part of, grew by yet another, haunt me. Every time I hear someone has lost …
SLIPPED AWAY
It was 8 months into my grief counseling when the eyes of my heart saw him. I sat on the couch, the french doors opening to a small patio with leaves swaying in the breeze and the sounds of the city trickling in. I stopped. Looked outside, and then to the empty space beside me. …
MERCY
It’s not everyday one gets the anniversary present I got. It’s cancer, my sweet husband told me. He had driven himself to the hospital the night before, for excruciating stomach pain. I woke up to a post-it note on the bathroom mirror. Test after test, surgery revealed he had advanced stage cancer of the worst …
GRIEF AND LOVE
He grew up by the beach, and I grew up going to the beach. Weekends, summers, anytime we could soak up the sun, we did. When he got sick, the coast was my place. I’d picked out a beautifully peaceful area with beach homes that were as diverse as Los Angeles and just as expensive. …
TOGETHER 💙
I need to talk, my message said. I’m struggling today. Without hesitation, and without knowing anything but my friend’s name and how long ago she passed, I talked. I cried. The hurricane of emotions came, and he listened. I’m here, he said. I’ll stay with you for as long as you need. For so many …