LETTING GO – PART 2

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LETTING GO – PART 2

I wrote weeks ago the inaugural act that led me to ultimately say goodbye. 

A letter. 

Comprised of four parts, the first part begins with forgiveness.  But it’s not what you think.  It’s not regret.  And it’s not about you. 

It’s about your spouse, and it’s about the ways in which he or she was not perfect.  It’s writing the ways in which you were hurt by their actions, no matter how long ago. 

So many of us saint our late spouses such that no one could ever measure up.  We remember – and for good reason – all the ways our loved one did it right.  But we forget the ways in which they did it wrong. 

Perhaps it’s guilt or fear or any number of emotions that make it difficult to remember anything but the positive, and sometimes an exaggeration at that. 

The purpose of beginning the goodbye letter with forgiving your loved one is to bring us back to reality.

It’s the recognition that he or she was human, loved in spite of their quirks and even their hurts aimed at us.  It’s a realization that as we naturally dwell on the positive, there were indeed a negative.  Maybe many. 

As we begin the letter forgiving our late spouse for the hurts he or she caused, we are brought back into the reality of our yesterday, and the reality of our today. 

And as we work through today, we truly live our tomorrow. 💙

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