We called it at 1:54am. He was dead.
Five years of cancer hell that etched away at my husband had ended. Five years of telling my five children Daddy couldn’t play with them because he was upstairs sick.
Five years of watching everything I wanted slowly and painfully disappear.
We forgive ourselves for the decisions we’ve made in our pain. Something…anything to make it better. Just for a minute.
We can learn to forgive ourselves, stop judging ourselves, and start loving ourselves.
But that doesn’t mean others stop judging. Stop whispering. Stop talking to you. Stop acknowledging your presence, even at your place of worship.
In a world that denies death, doesn’t understand the widowed, we live with grief and we survive in the midst of cruelty and hurt.
To all of my widowed brothers and sisters, you are doing a wonderful job. And although few will understand, you are not alone.
May you walk free from the chains of judgment. Look in the mirror, trust that you did your absolute best under horrific circumstances. Walk tall. Walk strong.
And walk confidently, in incredible strength and dignity. I love you, sweet sisters and brothers. We’ve got this. 💙
#walkingthroughwidowhood #widowstrong #laughterafterdeath #lookingintherearviewmirror
#widow #widower #widowed #widowedmom #grief #widowlife #widowedyoung #youngwidow #griefsucks #write #writer #womenwhowrite #writersofinstagram #words #widowhood #widowedandyoung #lifeafterloss #heartbreak #lifeafterlove #movingforward #bereavement #loss #soloparenting #griefsupport #grieving #widowsofinstagram