My home is rarely quiet. Five kids makes Amazon Prime worth the gallon-size jug of earplugs I have on continual re-order. It’s controlled chaos minus the control.
You’d think the kids would pipe down already and cut their widowed mom a break every so often.
Nope.
In fact, at this very moment, I’m sure there’s a child who didn’t brush his teeth and one who “showered” but mysteriously exited the tub completely dry, and my older girls fretting about what their class schedule will be three years from now.
Me? I’m holed up safely in my panic room, stocked with canned soup and lots of wine.
Well, maybe not the soup but definitely the wine.
This thought had crossed my mind about a thousand times since my husband passed: Who in their infinite wisdom thought I could handle raising five little drunken pirates masquerading as children on my own? Who thought I’d have the patience for solo parenting and the sheer determination to rob a bank to pay for their college tuition?
Not me.
Turns out, it is me.
These kids, while boisterously eating me out of house and home, are the very reason I am here. They give me purpose. They give me hope. They give me peace knowing that one of the five will most likely visit me at the retirement home on Christmas Eve after I finish showing old Norman who’s boss at the bingo table.
Since their dad moved upstairs, we’ve become more than I ever thought we could be. They’ve learned to love without reservation. Serve each other. Lean on each other. And dispense comfort like our favorite neighbor on Halloween – you know, the one who gives out full size candy bars to everyone.
And like that beloved neighbor, they generously give out full-size hugs and kisses whenever a tear falls. They encourage each other, help each other, love on each other, and are miraculously patient with even the littlest ones.
I don’t know what I did to deserve being a widow, but what really has me scratching my head is this –
I don’t know what I did to deserve these most precious children.
Always and forever, I love you.
— Mommy 💙
#laughterafterdeath #lookingintherearview
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