Why do bad things happen to good people? That’s the money question. The answer, my friend, is blowing in the wind. Like a feather tossed about, so are the answers to why bad things happen.
In fact, if God himself came down and gave me a written explanation as to why my husband died after a long battle with cancer, I’d still never sign off on the idea. No reason this side of heaven will ever have me thinking… “Oh yes, it all makes perfect sense. Go right ahead. Take his life and leave me to raise our five kids alone. Great idea! I wish I would have thought of it myself!” Nope. No reason will be good enough.
So I fight to understand why, even if I don’t fight the fact that he’s never coming back.
So far, I’m on the losing side of this battle. My fighting has left me tired, angry, confused.
I let go. Rather, I learn to let go.
As a person who thrives on logic and reason, there simply is none here. So I give up yet another thing — the desire to solve a problem that is inherently unsolvable.
I feel like I’m losing everything, but what I’m gaining is far more than what I perceive as loss. It’s more a perspective shift, and I’m gaining peace. A little piece of peace that is already immeasurable.
It’s a process. Letting go. Receiving peace.
I’m working on it. You can too. We can together.